Constructive Promo Criticism

Yes, I decided to bring this thread back even if some people (Awesome included) dislike it, I honestly don't see what's wrong with it but I'm sure there's atleast one person in here that would like to know how to improve, so here are the rules: You rate the RP of the guy that posted before you and tell him what you liked and what you think he should improve at, then you post the link to the rp you'd like people to rate/review, easy as that. If someone didn't get it, well I'll show you an example.

-----------------------------------------------

Guy 1 - *Links RP*

Guy 2 - Well, I thought it was good but you could improve your grammar, 8/10. *Links his own RP*

-----------------------------------------------

Then another guy continues and so on, don't be shy, constructive cristicism is always nice. So go ahead and let's get this started.

awesome idea! i'll def being doing this. thanks man

Quote :

What about that halfassed piece of... well you know.

Thought it was decent. Easy to read, good layout, def something i can imagine cm punk saying, and I really liked your reply to Cena. Only thing was you seemed like you rushed it and didn't really look it over bc there was about 5-6 times where you either missed spelled or just completely left a word out. And me personally can't really stand reading solid white rp's just for the fact on the really long ones everything starts to blend in. So I give it an 8/10